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Thursday, April 10, 2008
Makes Me Wonder...How much i used to believe that loving someone is forgiving their past and accepting who they are today. I guess, he proved me wrong today. We had a joyful conversation, starting off with asking about what each other is doing. Talking nonsense to one another. Untill suddenly, there was silence. I knew something was going to pop but i din't expect it to be ugly. Interrogates. He started asking me questions. Questions that never failed to make me feel insignificant. Questions that was my past. Questions that i believe will leave a scar between us. I tried to avoid but i know avoiding makes matters worse. Why can't we leave things as it is and look forward together. Why is he turning back? Everytime he turns back to look at stuff, all i can see is his back. Nothing but his back, no smile, no anger, no expressions. Just his back. I realise that, to him, my past matters much more than our relationship and it matters more than how i felt. He neglected my feelings. I fought back but i lost, i couldn't help it. Should i retaliate by giving him a taste of his own medicine? No, i shouldn't. It will only harm the situation. All i did was to let him have this way, kept my mouth tight to myself. I feel like crying but i only allowed 2 tears to fall and i told myself, "You must stay strong. No matter what it is, if he's giving up. You must hold on. Never forget what happened last time and never let it repeat again." Things that din't matter much to me, became a very big deal to him. Baby, if hurtful words are all that we exchange. No matter how hurting it is, it'll still be music to my ears. Only the difference would be, if its a happy song or a sad song. Before i can even finish this post. I broke down. He said, "You very pathetic leii you." I know he thought i din't hear him but the fact is. I did and at that split moment, tears flowed uncontrollably. I'm sure i'll pull through this time, really. I still feel like giving up. Zzz. I'm so pathetic, oh gawd, there he goes despising me. I feel so stupid and so useless. Could this all be about trust and not trusting? Do you still love me like before? Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you And maybe turning my back would be that much easier Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange But I can't watch you walk away Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you? And all about the good times that we've been through Could I wake up without you every day? Would I let you walk away? No, I can't learn to live without And I can't give up on us now [Chorus] Oh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over you But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth insideI'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me? And all the reasons that make loving you so easy The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe The way you know just what I mean No, I can't learn to live without Ohh, so don't you give up on us now Ohh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over youBut even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie Ohh, and I don't wanna try Ohhhh, I know I could say we're through And tell myself I'm over you But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie I just can't live a lie But even if I made a vow A promise not to miss you now And try to hide the truth inside I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie Oh, I cant live a lie [x2] Messages / Tag Replies : |
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